Chronic (Se7en Deadly SEALs Book 2) Read online

  My stomach rumbled more by the God damned second, maybe from the meat or maybe from my nerves. That, and I was lying to Grant and felt like I was a second from getting caught. He didn’t deserve this. I hadn’t thought this whole asinine plan out fully. Would he fall for another girl who would leave him, who would lie to him? I couldn’t do that to him again. I wanted to scream at him, hit him upside the head for wanting to get involved with a fucking stripper that he just met, but I couldn’t reveal myself yet.

  I refused to lose focus; allow the guilt to make me become slothful in my pursuit. I was having a leisurely breakfast, nursing my coffee, while my brother remained incarcerated.

  “No. I will not quit job if I do not get the new one. If you want to forget me, you do it—forget.”

  His eyebrow rose as he gave me a glossy stare.

  Checkmate.

  He paused, that mind of his clearly plotting. “Fine. There’s this bar in Ocean Beach. I know the owner. I can get you a job as a bartender. You’re over twenty-one right? As long as you’re legal to work in this country, I can get you hired.”

  The Pickled Frog? Kyle’s bar? Hell yes! I wanted to break out in song to celebrate, but I refused to count my chickens before they hatched—or as my Russian instructor Roman used to say, “Don’t divide the pelt of the bear not yet killed.”

  I took a long sip of coffee, steadying my breath. I needed a moment to sit and reflect. I had already achieved my goals for working at Panthers: I’d investigated the strippers from when Tiffany worked there and found that the ones working there now barely knew her or the SEALs. The former strippers had vanished. Autumn, the girl I’d met last night at the party, had told me that she used to work at Panthers, but had since started working at an upscale club called Diamond downtown. She was with Grant the night of the murder. She’d given me her number and told me she thought I’d get hired. I needed to investigate Diamond.

  My other goal for working at Panthers was to gain access to the SEALs. And I had done that; I was sitting in Grant’s place after spending the night. But Grant could cut me out at any second. No way was I going to quit my job unless I had another access point to the SEALs.

  Time to switch strategies. “Very well. I will go. If I get job, then I do quit Panthers.”

  “Deal.” He got up and knelt beside me, moving his hand up my thigh. “That wasn’t too hard, was it?”

  Oh God. Not physical contact. I was barely hanging on by a thread as it was. If Grant started touching me, I would surely blow this whole plan.

  His eyes ran the length of my body slowly before they settled on my mouth. I fought every instinct in my body to stay still. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how good it felt to have your mouth on my cock,” he breathed, running his fingers over my lips.

  Before I could react, he threw me over his back and led me into the bedroom.

  After I’d given him head last night, I’d squelched any opportunity for him to go further, even though I had wanted to. I was dying to get truly intimate with him, but it was too risky.

  Once he’d positioned me on the bed, he continued running his hands all over my body, exploring me. He started to undress me slowly, kissing all my skin that was revealed. He spent a lot of time at my breasts until it was almost torture. I’d been worried that my nipples would lose sensation with the implants—thank God that wasn’t the case. I closed my eyes and tried to fight the battling emotions inside of me. His touch felt like coming home and I wanted to bask in the sensations that I had gone too long without. At the same time, I wanted to rip his hands away from me and curl up into a ball because I didn’t deserve it. He pulled my panties down with his free hand, slipping his fingers inside of me. His body pressed into mine, his lips hovering over my own.

  I closed my eyes, savoring this moment. Last night, I hadn’t allowed him to kiss me deeply, afraid he would find my mouth too familiar. All in order to dissuade him from thinking I was Mia. But this time, this kiss, I didn’t think—not about how to kiss him back, not about how to position my mouth, not about how to use my tongue. This time, I allowed myself to feel and lose myself in the moment. I let my love for him guide my movements, my connection with him guide my heart.

  I couldn’t get enough of his lips, his stubble grazing my chin. And for those few sweet minutes, there was no Joaquín, there was no Ksenya. Just Grant and Mia, back together again.

  But the battle waged through my mind once again as his kisses made their way down my body—my brain wanted to slap him, my core ached, imagining him fucking me senseless. Oh, this man made me so mad yet so turned on at the same time.

  A rush of pleasure swept over me, and I knew if I didn’t escape from him, I’d be unable to resist him in another minute.

  I caught my breath and playfully pushed his hand away, wiggled out of the bed, separating myself from him. My breathing was labored, my skin was flushed. There was no way to hide how impossibly turned on he had made me. “We can play later. If you want me to quit, I need to go to a new job.”

  He sat up, his hard cock visibly straining against his pajama bottoms. “Fine, I need to shower. Want to join me?” He stripped off his pants, and stood there buck-ass naked.

  The man was trying to fucking kill me. I wanted him more than air, but if I remained near his hard, naked, ripped body for another second, surely I would cave. I needed to focus, to think. “Um…” I had to stop to find my voice before trying again. “I will shower later. You be alone.”

  “Okay, babe,” he gave me a quick, playful nod and a sexy wink. A fucking wink. “I’ll be out in a few. Make yourself at home.”

  He walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I closed my eyes and let out the deepest, most cleansing breath, releasing all the tension that Grant had built up in my body. How the hell did I survive that?

  I rummaged for my phone in my purse, hating that I was forced to act like one of those paranoid women who wouldn’t let it out of my sight, fearful to leave it out in the open where my secrets could be discovered. There was a time when we trusted each other and hid nothing. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time I’d kept a secret from Grant.

  My phone flashed. 1 message—Mitch.

  I felt my pulse quicken in excitement.

  Mitch: When can we fuck?

  Ah, Mitch, the sexy jackass SEAL. Always the gentleman. I had placed a tracking device on his phone at the party the other night. I needed to wait to get back to my crappy apartment to check the data.

  My fingers danced along my phone.

  Me: Never. I’m together with Grant.

  If there was one thing I knew about Mitch, it was that he was all about the chase. The second I showed him a hint of interest, he’d be gone—and if he disappeared, I’d lose any hope I had of investigating him. And I knew Mitch had secrets—lots of them. I had to find out what his deal was.

  I heard the water turn on in the bathroom. I took another second to relax, pet Hero, and to give myself props for surviving this hellish morning. I’d already come so far in such a short time. But the real question was, how far was I willing to go?

  ***

  WHEN GRANT’S BIKE EXITED IN Ocean Beach, the sight of the neon green sign filled my heart with joy.

  A sigh of relief escaped. Returning to one of Joaquín’s old haunts gave me a strong sense of comfort. Grant and I shared some good times here too. Memories flashed back—Grant holding my hair back in the parking lot after I puked from drinking one too many rum and Cokes, Grant telling me he loved me for the first time when I picked him up smashed after one of the SEAL funerals, sitting in between my two favorite men, celebrating the day they finally earned their Tridents. That day, I’d been filled with hope for my future. Today, I was filled with dread for Joaquín’s.

  We pulled up behind the dive and climbed off Grant’s bike. I quickly collected myself and remembered to pretend not to know where I was.

  “Where are we?”

  “This is my buddy Kyle’s bar.”

&nb
sp; I nodded.

  A second job working at the unofficial SEAL hangout was just what I needed.

  Grant pushed back the doors and my jaw dropped—the place had been completely redone. Hardwood floors had replaced the multi-colored shag carpet and the laminate counter tops were made out of thick, oak slabs. No more whisky mixed with puke stench. This place was almost respectable.

  A little less than six months ago, I’d come here desperate for help. Confused, lost, alone. Without any plan. Now, I was transformed into a new woman and was everyday making progress on securing my brother’s freedom. I’d gained access to the SEALs, the strippers, and had placed a tracking device on Mitch’s phone. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

  Kyle gave Grant a bro hug.

  “Kyle, this beautiful woman is Ksenya.”

  Kyle kissed my hand.

  “Hi Kyle.” I looked up to meet his eyes. He was massive in every way, towering over his SEAL buddies; his muscles double the size of theirs, which was just ridiculous. How was that even possible?

  “Your man here tells me you’re looking for a job. I’m sure the boys would love to have your banging body filling their drinks.”

  “I am hard worker. Thank you for meeting together with me.”

  “Of course, beautiful. Tell me about yourself.” He leaned into me, his soulful eyes studying my face. As if he knew me.

  My heart fluttered and I resisted the urge to flee. “I was born in the Ukraine. My baba and me, we came to your country. She died, and now I am alone. There is nothing else to tell.”

  “Well, sugar, I treat my employees like family. Have you ever tended bar?”

  Even though Grant was my ex-boyfriend, in a way I feared Kyle would be the one to discover my identity. He was older than the other men and had lived a full life before joining the Teams. And he was one of those rare men who actually listened.

  “No, I have not. But I am the quick learner.”

  “Okay, then.” He opened up the side door to the bar. “Hop on it and give it a try. You can start by taking Grant’s order.”

  Grant reached across the bar and held my hand, as if to reassure me. “You got this, babe. Just give me a whisky on the rocks.”

  Kyle gave me a quick layout of the bar, where the different liquors were stored, different types of glasses for various drinks. My head was spinning, but every time I glanced at Grant his smile gave me confidence.

  After an hour or so, I needed a break. A blinding light flashed in my head, and I feared a migraine coming on.

  “Kyle, I thank to you for giving me this opportunity. When do you need me to start?”

  “How about Tuesday night? Weekends are the busiest so during the week I’ll have more time to train you.”

  I couldn’t hold in my excitement. I flung my arms around Kyle’s neck and squeezed him. He gave me a long hug. “Thank you, Mr. Kyle. I will not be the disappointment to you.”

  Kyle reached across the bar and placed his hand on Grant’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, man. I’ll keep an eye on her.”

  Grant’s gaze ping ponged between Kyle and me. His hand squeezed his glass, his nostrils flared. I’d known Grant for so long that I could tell he was annoyed. I didn’t think he suspected me of being Mia but maybe he just didn’t want me to work with his friends. But then why would he bring me here for the interview? Something was wrong; I had to trust my gut and not dismiss my instinct.

  But I couldn’t allow his reaction to matter at the moment.

  Grant stormed out of the bar. I thanked Kyle and raced after Grant, my high heels slipping into the gravel outside of the bar. Like quicksand, my feet sank into the earth, and for a moment, I wondered what it would be like to disappear.

  But unfortunately, I recovered and caught up to Grant. He was already sitting on his bike, his tight jeans showing off that perfect ass of his. His head was turned toward the beach, and I followed his gaze to the ocean. I couldn’t help myself, my desire to soothe him, alleviate any pain I was causing him overtook my resolve to remain emotionally distant in order to guard my secrets. I climbed on the bike, wrapped my arms around him, and nuzzled his neck. No words were exchanged, just enjoyment of the silence in this moment, comforting him the only way I could. I tried to radiate warmth toward him and project with my body how much I truly loved him.

  My nails lightly scraped against his beard, and I traced the scar on his neck. His green eyes gave me a wounded stare, and a guilty shiver flashed through my body, remembering how I’d left him when he’d been injured.

  I turned his face toward me. “Thank you for taking me to here. Okay. I quit Panthers.”

  His cold glare softened and his mouth widened into a slight smile. He licked his lips and nodded his head. I knew that look—smug, sexy, satisfied. He loved to get his way, so I was happy to give him this false sense of victory.

  I let him drive me back to my place, wondering for a second if it was a mistake for him to see where I lived. But I felt it would be odder if I refused. I had to have faith in my blessings, and believe that I was finally being granted some good luck.

  We arrived at my apartment. My mind prepared some excuses to give to prevent him from coming upstairs. But to my surprise, he didn’t even ask.

  At the door, he pressed his body against mine, his hard cock teasing me through my pants. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

  I ran my fingers through his hair. “Yes. Where do we go?”

  He smirked. “I’ll take you to Panthers to quit and get your car.”

  Shit, I’d forgotten I’d left my car parked overnight. “Okay. You can take me to there.”

  He pushed me up against the wall, his lips claiming mine. I let out a moan as his tongue explored my mouth. God, I wanted him. I wanted to scream I’m Mia, I’m yours, always and forever. Playing this sex kitten role, being this close to the man I love had renewed in me my deepest desires for him. I wanted to lose myself in him—in us—in pleasure. Have him fuck me until I could forget about how much I screwed my life up.

  Instead, he let out a maniacal laugh. Like he’d recognized my desire, like he’d caught on to my game. “I’ll pick you up at eleven.”

  I watched Grant walk back toward his bike, looking like some blond, buff, movie star sex god. Even from afar, I could see his wicked smirk in my direction. He pulled his helmet down and he took off, barreling down the road. I could feel a knot forming in my belly. I didn’t know what to make of the peculiar way in which Grant was behaving. All this time, I thought I was the one trying to play a part, but maybe I was the one truly being deceived.

  ***

  DONE. MY FIRST PLAN OF attack went off without any setbacks. I sat on my bike outside Panthers in the middle of the day, watching Ksenya’s fine ass as she walked inside, her blond hair covering her shoulders. A man whistled at her from his car, bastard was probably jerking off. I had to admit this scene was pathetic. After getting to know some strippers over the years, I’d learned some hard truths. Most of the women were either drug addicts, victims of abuse, or plain down on their luck. They were not the sexually empowered temptresses I had deluded myself to believe they were. I’d always justified coming here by considering strip clubs places to bond with my brothers for boys’ nights out. At least I’d convinced Ksenya to quit so she wouldn’t be flashing her tits to the construction workers devouring their free lunch buffet.

  Getting her the job yesterday at the bar gutted me. I knew Kyle and my buddies would keep her safe but it made me nauseous to think that this full mind fuck could actually be happening. Had Mia worked her ass off to be an actress only to now use her talents to be nothing more than eye candy? She’d be serving drinks to a bunch of fucked up alcoholic frogmen while they ogled her. I prayed I was wrong about Ksenya being Mia in disguise.

  I couldn’t allow myself to think about the implausibility of this situation. I had to concentrate on the task at hand. I needed to get some sort of proof, something tangible that convinced me, without a doubt, that Ksenya was Mia.


  If I was correct I might let her keep her ruse up to the outside world, especially if we could glean any information that could save her brother. But that was it. No feelings, nothing beyond this operation. I wasn’t even sure if I should sleep with her. Sure, I’d love to fuck her sweet pussy again, make her scream my name, but I couldn’t risk getting addicted to her. She was toxic to me, like heroin. I’d quit her once. I wasn’t sure I could do it again.

  She walked out of Panthers, her high heels making her gait lack the casualness that Mia’s once had. Even so, from the distance all I saw was my dream girl. I couldn’t stop staring—it was almost as if Dr. 90210 had created her just for me. I had to remember that if my theory was correct, nothing about this girl was real, not her face, not her tits, not her hair. I wouldn’t say she was a sociopath because she clearly had ruined her life to try to save Joaquín’s. Even so, she had no problem using me to get what she wanted. If she could be this callous and treat me as little more than a stepping-stone, what we had must’ve been bullshit all along.

  She stood next to my bike, her elbows pressed to the side of her body, making her look even more petite than usual.

  I stepped on the gas and handed her the helmet. “How did it go, babe?”

  Her lips were trembling. “It was fine. He understood. Said thank you to me for the hard work. I will take my car home now.”

  Not so fast. Time to up the game. “I’ll take you back here later. Come with me to my bro’s place—his wife just had a baby.”

  Her brow furrowed, and she hesitated for a second. I was actually worried that she would decline. “Okay. I go.” Her expression went slack, her bright eyes turned dull and were those tears?